Thursday, July 29, 2010

Some Never Really Leave Us...

A very odd thing happened to me the other day, as I pulled up the driveway and jumped out of the car to pick up our mail.  A thought popped into my head "I wonder if I'll find a letter from Mum today."  Not so strange you might say, but my Mum died over 11 years ago (and my Dad just 6 months after her.)

I've had time to "get over it," for sure, and a lot has come to pass in my life in these past 11 years since she died.

Still, sometimes, memories of her come flooding towards me, and I can still feel stricken by the loss of her,  like it just happened yesterday.

July 1998.

Today would be my Mum's 88th birthday, and ever since the other day when the thought of receiving mail from her popped into my head, I have not only thought of her often, but felt her mothering energy, encouraging and loving,  I have drawn energy just thinking of her strength (she had six children AND worked full time as a nurse!) 

Several years ago, I had recurring dreams that involved bears,  Mum was in the dreams too, in one dream she even let a bear into my house!   I told myself that these dreams were Mum's way of reaching out to me, I have ALWAYS paid attention to my dreams, but especially so when a bear shows up.

Writing this blog would (does) make my Mum proud, and as crazy as it sounds (maybe to some,) since feeling her presence so strongly,  I feel infused with an energy and enthusiasm for writing like never before..  I'm on a huge adventure, and I LOVE not knowing where it may lead, I am satisfied with writing this blog in a way thats different from any previous creative endeavors.

Thank you everyone for reading, caring, and following.

With LOVE,



Anonymous said...

Great photo. I feel my grandmother's presence all the time. It's difficult to explain, but you did a fantastic job.

Cassandra said...

A wonderful photo of you and your mum!. I am amazed at the "presence" of my brother in law who died years too young (age 36). I feel him with me often , especially when it comes to my boys. I remember a dream I had awhile after he died. It was so was him hugging me and telling me he was no longer in pain and that he could smile again. From that instant my grieving began and followed the path to healing. My heart still aches with missing him, but it is no longer overwhelming. Thank you as always, Neinah for helping me to remember so much when life is always soooo busy!

The Quintessential Magpie said...

What a sweet post, Neinah! Your mother obviously instilled a great deal of love in her daughter because I feel that in your posts. What a dear lady. And how nice to be remembered and loved so.

I loved my mother, too, and I miss her so much and my father whom I adored. AND my grandmother. I was super close to her, and I catch myself thinking what she would do in certain situations. But the older I get and the more I move toward the end of life's journey here on this earth, the closer I am to being reunited with them. So getting older definitely has its benefits... like going home!


Sheila :-)

Beverly said...

What a sweet tribute to your mother. She must look at you with a warm heart.

My father has been gone for twenty-four years, and I still feel his presence in my life.

And, I do believe we can sense and feel them when our hearts are open to their spirits.

A Write Life said...

Very sweet post. Indeed at first it seems unsettling, but then you just find your heart opening and remembering and you end up feeling such warmth and love.